bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
