Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
