I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize