yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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