I was born with a shot glass in my hand
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
