You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
