you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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