Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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