Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
