Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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