Pregnant stripper...not hot.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Shame - the story of my life.
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