Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
