what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
