Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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