did you get engaged???
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
