so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
