I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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