i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
