I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
another moral hangover. fuck.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
