Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
