and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
