thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
