I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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