I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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