i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
