I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
