this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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