IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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