I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
