question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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