Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
