I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
