I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
