well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
