Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
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Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
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Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize