Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
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