cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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