I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he was CRYING into my vagina
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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