My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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