Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
