hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
