She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
