Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
