We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
FUCK WHALES
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