finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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