I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
