And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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