it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
