You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
