it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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