My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
