Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
