for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
