i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
