my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
is wine microwaveable?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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