I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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