i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
