I'm gonna have a badass scar
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
