Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
