The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
